DJ Toast at Tin Roof

DJ Toast is that virgin with a skullet, and the cap. He wears the cap constantly, despite the fact his 'job' requires him to wear headphones. The two should never be worn together, not that this stops the enigmatic Toast, who just doesn't give two shits about what society thinks or expects of a man his age. In some ways, this attitude should be respected. And in other ways, he should be reprimanded. If this was any other country on Earth where he had chosen to apply such loose moral ethics, he'd face a firing squad. However, we're tolerant of the handicapped in Scotland. Rumor has it that Toast, spends his time in his mothers basement or as he calls it his 'bassment' where he plays Now That's What I Call 90's compilations and Steps Greatest Hits album looking to find an obscure tune to play on his ever ludicrous Friday Night Playlist. Known to pollute the dancefloors of such sub standard nightclub establishments as Kokomo and Bamboo as well as being the guy who makes Snap, Crackle and Pop just that bit more shit, Toast has made quite the name for himself on World of Warhammer message boards. The origins of his name come from an early EP entitled 'Toaster in the Tub' in which Toast tried to push the boundaries of electronic music but found his extension chord wasn't long enough to mix with the bath water, prolonging his career. It was this groundbreaking work as well as the time he played 'C'est La Vie' consecutively for 48 hours that brought DJ Toast critical acclaim in an article he wrote for QMUnicate Magazine. In some ways DJ Toast's pressing of 'play' and 'pause' should be respected for its minimalist and nature, and in some ways condemned to the darkest reaches of Hell. In conclusion, DJ Toast is a very good DJ and an excellent father to me. I wish him well. x